Fall of the Horse just jump right back on... a year later :-p

Well I started ANOTHER new job this time at Best Buy doing PC sales. I found out I was getting laid off at the Park a month early on a Friday, went home applied at Best Buy, received a phone call Sunday afternoon, setup a "2nd" interview(the first being the app.) for Tuesday, Was called back for a 3rd interview Wednesday went a took a Piss test had the Job by Saturday :-) what a fortunate string of event all started by that mother F*CKING blind N*GGER Governor Paterson, oh yeah and I started ITT-Tech Firday 08.09.08. So my life has been one giant cluster F*ck these past few weeks NO real time for me time :-(

Work/Play

Well I got me a new job, at Beaver Island St. Park for the summer, and finally got the fuck out of GISAH!! What I will do come end of October I know not but for now :-)...
I absolutely love working in the sun and the rain and all the elements that make up a WNY summer. Pay isn't bad either, who knows how long that will last with Govn'r Blind as a Black Bat Patterson but I'll take what I can get!

I have had just two lines that I would LOVE to work into Poems but alas it has not been as of yet but maybe with my first free weekend in nigh three years I will pull it off. " The Lunatic is in my head, the Lunatic is in my head but it's not me" and *nothing is better than worse* I have to thank Pink Floyd for the first, it is derived from "Damaged Brain" off the Dark Side of the Moon. The second I must thank Elspeth Phillips for she tell me "anything better than worse is something" and my "damaged brain" twisted that into nothing is better than worse, and yet worse is better than nothing.
So one can not get better than worse but also one can not relapse more than worse.

Life...

"Life" has really been moving as of late, unfortunately that does not include writing. Writing has been one of the furthest things from my mind recently, except for the few moments I actually have to myself and what I think of then is how I miss writing! Got into an auto accident 27.06.08 where I stuck a vehicle from out of state that was "turning" in to one of the roach motels on GI BLVD, the problem with that was that I did not see his break lights light up, nor a Turn signal. I remember saying "OH F*CK" slamming the brakes and the air bag being in front of my eyes! Luckily I was maybe doing 35MPH but what are you gonna do, "SH*T Happens then, You die"

So now the head shrinker is even "getting on me" about playing th bass, who knows maybe I will have an excuse to right if I stimulate my mind some more!

Boredom

I suppose I never knew what true boredom was, that is until my TBI f*cked up all my plans. Actually I can't say that my car accident is to blame for that, no I was doing quite a good job of it immediately preceding the accident. The accident just sealed the deal... but THAT is more than enough whining, and since that is really 'all' that is currently going through my head I will stop forcing my self to attempt to write for another few days. One note though I truely believe that the reason I have not been writing is do to the lack of mental stimulation in my life.

quieter

So apparently I am less inclined to write when my brain is this 'still' Which is one of the few things that I believe is a 'true' 'sin' Idle hands are not the "devil's" toys but rather idle minds, we have minds we must try and use them and not allow natures 'autopilot' to take control. we must find mentally stimulating activities, so as not to waste our one attribute that separates us from the lesser creators our mind. I feel that any 'animal' which has the ability to make choices is at least on par with Humans on the evolutionary ladder. but the thing that gives us a slight advantage over the other 'sentient' species is the fact that we are not content with our current state of knowledge. The day we stop learning is the day we die, otherwise we learn something everyday, which is what we are designed for learning and surviving we survive because we observe and learn what can harm us and we must try our damnedest to avoid those things, else we will perish. If we didn't learn from our past we would have wiped ourselves out of existence many an eon ago. especially since we made the mistake of entering a nuclear age. Its the will to survive that has kept the human race from nuking itself into oblivion

Quiet

My brain has been quiet lately not sure if that is a bless or a curse, All I know is at least I am not dwelling on the same unimportant sh*t and forgetting whats real...Like My writing and work, yes work is real, unfortunately that is! :( Well I mustn't waist to much time here I have to be up and out of my house by nine, not that early but for my if its before 11.00 or 12.00 it is way too effing early!!Save Now

Who Made Whom?

This relates back to the "age old question" of "What came first? the chicken or the egg?" Who made whom? that is my question. One that I have obsessed over greatly! In this case I refer to Man and "god"? Did man invent "god" to reassure "his" own insecurities to explain the unknown, or was it "god" who invented man? It is also a question which we will never truly "know" an answer for, since we can only "know" what we can see, or interact with either directly or indirectly. You may say that we can interact directly and or indirectly with "god" BUT... How does one know that it is god, with whom we are interacting?? At least an omniscient omnipotent one. Which is why my own personal belief is that Man is god. I mean Man collectively as in the whole human race. Which in part does make "god" omnipotent and omniscient in so far that "god" knows everything that the entire human race "knows" and yet it is omnipotent seeing as they can do all that humans can do. This too makes "god" nearly omnipresent, at least it is where ever Man is. Yet I still say that "god" is the irrational answer to the world irrationality. This is one of the major flaws in Human society, we expect or at least the vast majority of us expect that an irrational explanation can or will make the irrational at least somewhat more rational, but unlike with multiplication two negatives do not form a positive, which is somewhat irrational in and of its self? I mean can you explain to me how making a negative number greater by a negative scale somehow turns it in to a positive? I thought not... that doesn't even make any real mathematical since at least to me. It seams somewhat hypocritical in my mind, which is exactly how I see organized religion! Most if not all major religions agree that the taking of something that does not belong to you is not right, in this case things means both lives and objects and yet organized religion is at the root of many of the wars that have gone on throughout history, most notably the crusades, and this present Iraq war! If the taking of things that do not belong to us is amoral, then how does the Christan faith or the Muslim faith justify the killings that have been made at their hands of others who are not of their faith, or in some cases are of the same "faith" they just practice it in a different manner! I am not saying that those who choose religion are bad or that religion is entirely a bad thing, it does make for a good form of support for those that need it, creating a sense of belonging for those that may need it.

b*tch

So you are probably wondering why two posts within 24 hours after four days of nothing, there is this little thing called work or maybe its called life but either way it gets in the way of that which we want to do because we must do something else. It also doesn't hurt that writing in prose is a strange feeling to me, even when I was writing papers for school I tried to make them more of a free verse poem, or I just did not do them! :-p so it has probably been pushing five years since I have written any true prose, at least since junior year of high school. On top of that I think blogging is f*cking retarded, but I feel right now it is a necessary evil! for me at least. But the main reason more than likely is that I spent 24 hours out of 36 at a little shit hole called GISAH(Grand Island Small Animal Hospital) Its not a bad job its a f*cking terrible one actually no but I like to b*tch about it cause I am sick of it after nearly 8 years of picking up dog sh*t it gets old. The one big upside is that I usually spend the better part of my eight hour shift reading or something aside from actually working as well as getting my entire work week done in three days, and being able to survive on it, thanks to the help of my parental unit for shelter and some food. I have just one more comment I am in a rather sour mood at the hands of a woman, neh little girl so[when life is a b*tch f*ck her hard]

unk

So, I am told that my recent poetry is "better", well what the hell does that mean? Better is such a subjective term and one that is not truly very well used to describe something as subjective as a piece of art... Perhaps it can be used when comparing two works, or in a case where the product is one which is objective, i.e. four is better than two. So long as it is understood that in this case better means greater than or larger. I prefer to think of my poems of late as more mature, though this is still a subjective view, it does not care the connotation that it was worse before, only less developed, which can be construed either way as good or bad therefor it is neither. I suppose though just like every word in every language it is just a symbol for something else and as such it can be understood in any number of ways.

New low(s)

I have reached a new low for me, seeing as I am quiting cigarettes, I have set up and smoked my Hookah thrice in the past two days. Both times smoking a full bowl all by me lonesome. I know it is supposed to be a social piece not a loners activity but... I wanted/needed my nicotine ;-)

Work

So work kind of interrupted my little experiment. but alas here we go again... something quality did come of work though asides from the cold hard cash. so with out further ado!

See my lonely life unfold
as I've slowly gone insane
Watch my lowly mind explode
as it's slowly blown away
See my lowly life untold
as you quickly slip away
Watch my lonely lie explode
right in front my face
See the loneliness
as it slowly drips away
Watch my lowly life
rapidly fade away
for no one but me
See my lonely life rewind
deep inside my head...
inside my mind
Watch his lonely life
as it quickly turns all grey
See his lowly life...
waste another day ... ...
away

I wrote that Saturday Morning(05.04.08) around 0300, but I have been tweaking it contentiously since. I feel obligated to thank the Coop(Alice Cooper) for the inspiration.

GDIA

GDIA (god Damn It All) I hate blogging... and if I wasn't desperate to write I would say F*ck this sh*t!! Day three another failure 0 for 3

No comment

well two days into my experiment and I already plan on shirking my duties! I am going to a 1.50 movie rather than taking the time to try and write something meaningful oh-4-two thus far... there is always tomorrow.

Peer Preasure...

Well I am giving into peer pressure, and opening my blog or rather posting to my blog that I apparently already had opened. I am assuming that I naturally got one with my GMail account though I do not know. But any how perhaps I will right here as a means to brake my writers block one a more... with the idea that the more I write the more likely I will finally come out with something that an usually harsh critic like my self would give the nod to. That and I also felt the need to write here with the idea that more people will find my web site. (http://www.diefuchsjagden.co.nr or http://www.km3k.com/diefuchsjagden) if more people start submitting work to be be published perhaps as the site grows I will actually by my own web space and domain name! maybe I should mention that my site is a poetry site, on which I have published many a friends pieces I don't judge/ I don't correct grammar or spelling. My goal is pure and simple to help others get there written words out to the public why else does one write but for to share!